5 Apps Not for Lawyers

There have been a few times I’ve practiced lazy blogging; namely picking an easy topic, writing a couple of sentences, and calling the post “good” or good enough. Yesterday, as I was clearing my Feedly posts, I came across a “lazy” blog post discussing apps for lawyers. This post mentioned Evernote and Dropbox as “essential” apps for lawyers. That’s true, but by now, I hope enough attorneys know about Evernote and Dropbox, it’s lazy to even suggest these apps in a five apps format post. That’s why I sent out this tweet:

Obviously, I was being lazy when I sent the tweet, since I didn’t proofread the tweet beforehand. I thought that would end any discussion, but then Jennifer Romig of Listen Like a Lawyer sent this:

And then Keith Lee, sent me this tweet:

So, I felt like if I did a “not for lawyers” post, I could satisfy Jennifer and not offend Keith. Thus, here we are.

Say No to Apps

Anything karaoke

Unless you’re contracted with one of the big music labels, lawyers should probably follow Jennifer’s advice: no karaoke.

Karaoke apps

Of course, I realize that you’re heartbroken over this new revelation, especially since there are a number of enticing karaoke apps in Google Play. Do not let yourself succumb to the temptation. Your smartphone or tablet is much too valuable of a device, regardless of how much you love to sing Katy Perry’s, Roar.

I take that back, this might be the only acceptable karaoke song; except I don’t think anyone karaoke’s to the song.

X-Ray anything

As much as your 12 year-old inner boy child wants to believe that handheld x-ray goggles are possible, you’ll be as disappointed if you install one of these x-ray scanning apps.

X-ray Scanning

I think, if you check out some reviews you’ll see we still have a long road to walk:

xray scanning reviews

 

But, maybe these folks should read the description where it says, “This is a fake xray scanner, not a real X-ray, it’s a prank xray app with moving x-ray skeletal left hand image, this app is for entertainment only.” I guess, if you’re dumb enough to you’ll believe that your $300 smartphone can become a mobile x-ray machine, I’d like to talk to you about buying my beautiful statue on Ellis Island.

Kill the iOS Wanna-bes

I wish someone would explain why they want their Android phone to look and feel like an Apple iPhone. If you want an iPhone, just buy an iPhone.

iOS

Android is for users who want to send their information to Google customize and personalize their devices. Android phones have big screens, awesome cameras, and the ability to run an awesome mobile operating system with tons of features. Don’t spoil your Android device by making it look like an iPhone. Nope, not even when you want to “prank” your friends. Be bold. Be different.

Don’t bother hip hopping

In my opinion, this sentence couldn’t be further from the truth: “Hip-hop looks great, looks fun, and the more you watch, the more you want to do it.”

hip hop

There’s a new push with the popularity of dancing and singing competitions to encourage mobile device users to “learn” dance moves. Hip hop might be okay for some hipster — do hipsters like hip hop? — but you shouldn’t find any of these apps on a lawyer’s device. Period.

Limit the “lawyer apps”

If you search Google Play for a company developing a lot of apps for lawyers, you’ll probably come to this page. I know, it’s fun to have a mobile app you can tout around and say, “look, install our firm’s mobile app for when you [get arrested for DUI] [get into an accident], but nobody wants your law firm’s stupid app.

DUI app

With ever-shrinking real estate on most mobile devices, lawyers should not waste room on their phones or tablets with a law firm’s app; not even their own. We’re through with the mobile app fad, now long-live the responsive website.

So, what should I have?

Thankfully, ff you’re looking for apps, at least for apps that are appropriate for your device, this site has plenty of suggestions. First, browse the complete list of 2013’s best apps for lawyers and 2014’s best apps for lawyers — neither of which include any of these.

Next, search the archives for a needle, or even an Android app review. And finally, review the complete list of lawyer-specific apps — currently at 32, but you can add more — that actually serve useful purposes.

So, I hope you’ll proudly approach me at a conference or other event to pronounce that you don’t have any of the five offensive apps.

This post was updated November 7, 2015.

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Jeff Taylor

I’m just an ordinary guy living an extraordinary life. I’m also an attorney and I blog about Android for lawyers. You can follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, or Google+.